So They Just Found a Fish with Human Teeth in New Jersey

Jun 24, 2015 at 12:41 pm |

“Why Mr. Fish, what big teeth you have.” “All the better to crush your balls with.” Or so the rumor goes.

The South American pacu is a strange fish, even stranger to find in New Jersey waters, as it was this past weekend in Swedes Lake near the Pennsylvania border.

A father-son duo went fishing this past weekend for Father’s Day when they caught the fish, which they first believed to be a piranha. When they opened its mouth to see its teeth, however, they were in for what was possibly an even more unpleasant surprise: human teeth.

The pacu is known for having wide, flat teeth, much like the ones you (presumably) and I have. A native of the fresh waters of the Amazon, the pacu is an herbivore that uses its large teeth to grind up nuts that have dropped into the water.

Given their nut-cracking nature, the pacu have falsely been rumored to attack a certain part of the male anatomy due to sensational media reports in Denmark and Papua New Guinea. While these fish aren’t native to the States, they are found pretty frequently in fresh water, believed to have been released by negligent owners.

While the pacu isn’t typically considered dangerous to humans, and while they’re bound to die in cold winter weathers, nobody wants to be in the water with chompers likes these swimming in between their legs.

This fish isn’t called the “ball cutter” for nothing…