Snape’s Complete Chronology Will Make You Cry

Feb 11, 2015 at 6:12 pm |

You’d better believe this article contains spoilers. Don’t act like we didn’t warn you.

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Accio¬†Kleenex! You’re going to need them with this tearful tribute to Severus Snape.

Over a year ago, a video was uploaded to YouTube that compiled all of Snape’s important scenes from the eight Harry Potter movies in chronological order. How this is just going viral now is beyond us.

Severus Snape is one of the great antiheroes of modern literature. Cast as an evil, ugly, brooding character for the first five novels, it isn’t even until Book Six that we get some hindsight into his formation and history (at the expense of James Potter’s pristine reputation). Suddenly Snape becomes so much more than an obvious bad guy and the Queen of Emo: he becomes human. More human, in fact, than many of us, in that profoundly dramatic way that only literature can create.

When the full extent of his heartache, self-loathing, and secretive, deep, lasting love becomes evident, Severus Snape catapults from one of literature’s most frustrating antagonists to a complete dark horse, an instantaneous contender for top-five favorite Harry Potter characters, and perhaps the most surprising tear-jerker in millennial literature.

Those who quit after Book Three or those who have only seen the movies only know the half of it, but the above compilation does a fairly poignant job of taking movie Snape’s unexpected history and putting it all in order. While JK Rowling’s cleverly crafted, O. Henry-esque revelation of Snape’s true nature makes for much better reading/ watching than the chronological version, the video will still leave you in tears. The beautiful music certainly doesn’t hurt.

Still, we think there are a few key events in Snape’s life that the video left out, so we’ve drawn up a more accurate timeline of our own.

A (Somewhat Invented) Timeline of the Life of Severus Snape

Jan. 9, 1960: Severus Snape is born to Eileen Prince and some lame muggle. They raise the boy outside of Cokeworth, which is probably more than coincidental considering his distinguishably large (and red?) nose.

1960s: Snape has an unhappy childhood and a troubled family life. Wizard DYFS does nothing to help.

1969: Snape becomes increasingly skeptical and emo after doubting the reality of the moon landing.

1969: Severus Snape first meets Lily Evans after spying on her and her sister for an undetermined period of time. Boy crushes HARD. Snape disses Lily’s uptight sister Petunia, but Lily likes him anyway, and the children bond over making leaves and flowers fly. *Young love*

1969-1971: Snape experiences his first accidental “Wingardium Leviosa¬†in his groin region, questionable Patronus-like substance involved. Huge cleanup.

Continue through the next page to learn more about Snape’s years at Hogwarts…

Someone compiled all of Snape’s movie moments into chronological order. We’ve completed his life timeline here!