Honest Trailers Parodies ‘The Hobbit’ and It’s Everything You Ever Wanted to Say

Mar 25, 2015 at 2:26 pm |

Honest Trailers is easily one of the best recurring jokes the internet has to offer.

Their new parody of Peter Jackson’s 2014 epic The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies is another success as far as we’re concerned. It’s nice to see someone else had the same problems with this movie as we did.

If you’re a Tolkien fan, you probably love the Lord of the Rings film trilogy, but when it comes to the more recent Hobbit trilogy, you might have different feelings. After all, three books turning into three movies makes perfect sense, but turning a 300-page children’s book into nearly nine hours of film? You’ll wish you stayed in the Shire and never went to the movies in the first place. Once you finish them, you’ll be all like:

The best critiques and funniest jokes this honest trailer has to offer have got to be:

1. “People making out of place reference to Lord of the Rings.” Honestly, these movies spent so much time establishing backstory to make it mesh better with the preexisting sequels it hurt our heads a little bit.

2. “Mopey Dwarf King/ Mopey Dick.” Yes, yes, and yes again. If you thought that Thorin, son of Thráin, King under the Mountain was a douche in the book, Richard Armitage’s portrayal of him in the films will make you want to rip your eyes out.

3. “Scrooge McDragon.” Honestly the best nickname we’ve ever heard for Smaug.

4. “Five pages of a children’s book will be stretched into an hour-long battle between five-to-eight armies, depending on how you count.” The whole concept of “the five armies” has always been a confusing one, especially since the movie omits Wargs for Orcs and there only seem to be two or three sides.

5. Anything and everything about the Great Eagles. “Because you can’t make a Middle-earth movie without the f*cking eagles showing up at the last second, now can you?” Our thoughts exactly. Tolkien (and Jackson) relied a little too heavily on the divine intervention of the Great Eagles. And you thought the ending of The Odyssey was bad…

But don’t take our word for it! Check out the new honest trailer below! It’ll have you laughing there and back again…

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Finally! An honest review of “The Battle of the Five Armies.” You’re going to lose it when they talk about the eagles!