April Fool’s or the Future of Capitalism? Amazon Is About to Take Over the World with This Invention

Mar 31, 2015 at 4:49 pm |

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Stop everything.

After today, there will be two types of people in this world*: those who relish in the lazy luxury that the Amazon Dash Button will provide, and those who adamantly stand against this automated, mindless materialism.

Today, March 31, Amazon rolled out its newest creation: the Amazon Dash Button, a tiny, branded button that pairs up with your favorite products and your Amazon account to conveniently purchase your household necessities whenever you run out.

Picture this: you’re finally tackling that heap of laundry that’s been sitting there for two weeks. You go to reach for the detergent and, just your luck, it’s empty. No worries! Instead of running to the store, you simply reach over to your handy [insert detergent brand] Dash Button, which orders you exactly what you need and has it delivered to your house. Ahead of time, you’ve already preselected the quantity and speed of delivery. VoilĂ . Capitalism at its finest.

Just think of all the things you could do in the time saved by merely having to press a button instead of going to buy everyday items. You could sit around your house and eat pizza, or continue to binge watch your favorite show on Netflix, or comfortably sit in general ignorance of the state of the rest of the planet because hey, screw it, you’ve got Amazon Dash Buttons for everything.

All you need is Amazon Prime and “an invitation” to get started. Just let me know when there’s a button for pizza and booze.

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the future.

(*lazy, self-centered, oblivious, first-world country)

Wait, what?! This video will blow your mind and either make you SO happy or SO angry at the world. Watch here!