‘Human Centipede 3’: Can Someone Please Squash This Franchise Already?

Apr 10, 2015 at 3:24 pm |

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In 2009, Human Centipede captured the hearts and minds of the world of horror movie lovers as it introduced us to one of today’s more persistently disturbing faux-medical (and truly terrifying) concepts.

The first film gave us Lindsay and Jenny – played by two actresses whose lack of professional experience only gave their roles as American tourists a sense of believable naiveté – and the fantastic Dieter Laser as the insane and so-very-German Dr. Heiter (Heiters gonna heit).

Whether or not you were a horror movie fan, you were probably intrigued by Human Centipede‘s clever advertising, by the rumors that such an experiment was medically sound, and by the sheer foulness of it all. For those brave enough, the movie did not wholly disappoint.

But then, in 2011, the sequel came along. Full Sequence gave us an already tired theme, set within a new, delusional and very meta universe in which the first film was a critical success and worldwide phenomenon. Worse than the premise itself, viewers were forced to deal with Martin Lomax, an insane (and insanely disgusting) superfan of the original movie who decides in his perversion to recreate the experiment but with 12 victims. The result is an obnoxious, truly repulsive film that may have wanted to shock but only bored and enraged audiences.

Now, just when you wished the franchise was finally done with, they release the trailer for the third film, Human Centipede 3 (Final Sequence). Almost as a parody of the movie’s own ineffectiveness, the plot this time involves conjoining 500 prison inmates into a monstrous human chain, as if to comment on incarceration in the United States, yet instead only serving as a metaphor for how unnecessarily long this franchise has dragged on.

As a lover of horror movies, I’m happy for what the first Human Centipede did for the industry (disgusting plot, intriguing cinematography, and great visibility within the general public), but now these films have really just gone on too long and too far. With the tagline of “100% Politically Incorrect,” itself a reference to the taglines of the first two films, creator Tom Six must surely realize by now what a laughing stock he’s made of what started as a good, though grotesque, idea.

You can watch the trailer below; the only redeeming quality I can find is that Dieter Laser is back in a new, sinister role.

Will you be seeing the final film? Did you even make it through the first two? Either way, I’m happy to finally say good riddance to the biggest pest in the horror industry.

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Haven’t these movies just gone on for too long?